Tag: Martin Short

Short Poem about a Short Man

I try not to get fixated

I try not think of him throughout the day

I know it’s unhealthy

However my mind constantly drifts his way.

I wonder how he is doing

If happiness is truly at his door

I wonder if that smile is just a mask

If his heart is actually sore

I Know that he does not

Give my name even a second thought

I Know that he does not

Realize he is the object of my besot

However here I sit, with a stranger forever on my mind

Contemplating his happiness, as if he were actually mine.

I don’t care about his wealth or fantasize about his fame

I care for the man inside, and am indifferent to the character acclaim.

While admiration for his art I certainly can not deny
I want to know man, the heart and the mind.

I might throw up on Martin Short.

I might throw up on Martin Short.

Well, I was un aware until today that Mr. Short, aka the sexiest man alive, aka my hero will be in New York the same week as me again this year doing a book signing. I honestly had no idea. I am planning a visit and have tickets to see the Broadway production of Misery with Bruce Willis and while looking for other things going on in the city while I would be there I stumbled upon a book signing. I of course bought tickets to the Alan Zweibel in Conversation with Martin Short at the 92nd Street Y and OMG it says there is a book sale and signing after the show.

Now, to calm myself down. What am I going to say? Am I going to freak out? Will I pass out?  Will I be able to breathe? What if I break out in terrible acne prior to?

Should I shake his hand? Oh god, the thought of his hand in mine is to much to even think about. I cant shake his hand. But what if I approach the table to have my book signed and he extends his hand first? What do I do then? Ill have to shake his hand right. Ill throw up. Oh god don’t let me throw up on Martin Short.

Should I dress up? Should I wear my I love Ed Grimley shirt?  It clearly says I love Ed grimley across the boobs. But then Martin Short would look at my boobs. What if they aren’t up to par?  Ohhhh Maybe he will sign the shirt?

And now, what do I say to him? Do I just stand there silently and let him sign and walk away? Do I tell him I love him and that I run a Martin Short fan blog and instagram and twitter that no one looks at but me? Do I say “Hi, I loved the book.” and see what his response is and then wing it from there? I cant wing it. I’m a bumbling idiot at that thought of being next to him.  Ill need a script.  Ill have to write on my hand what I need to say. This will more than likely be the last time I am ever near him.

I think I will say “Hi, How are you”  followed by his “hello” Then I will say “In your book you talk about meeting Frank Sinatra and how you told him he had no idea, no concept of how huge a fan you were, that is this moment for me. This is a story my kids, and grandkids will be told over and over until I die. You are my Frank Sinatra”

what do we think? Can I utter those words to my hero?

Trophy Wife or Stripper? Naw….

Trophy Wife or Stripper? Naw….

One thing I really admire about Marty is that he went after what he wanted. He knew being a doctor, or a social worker wasn’t what he was destined to become and he worked until he got where he desired to be in life. That’s where he and I are so different. As I sit here at my desk, in my little office so miserable with my job that I’m writing a blog to a very limited audience as opposed to doing any actual work I envy him. I know this is not where I am meant to be. I wake up every morning with no desire to come here. I’m not lazy, I’ve worked since I was 15 years old, I am just unfulfilled in my current work situation. I need to find the drive to do something about it.

I’m too old to be an actor at a whopping 34 years old now, not to mention I have no talent. I’m not funny enough to be a comedian, although I crack myself up I cant pay myself to preform for myself now can I?  Hell, running a Martin Short obsessed fan blog pays nothing so I can scratch that from the list of potential careers… What to do, what to do. I’ve had children so my stomach is not flat enough to be a stripper. I also cant dance. I could seek a rich husband I suppose, one who would allow me to just be a trophy wife?? But I’m not gold, id say I’m a high bronze, possibly low silver type of trophy so what kind of husband would that attract? Just some old creepy one, so Ill pass on that option as well.

So, back to work I go. Doing the same thing over and over, every day of my life until I finally figure out what it is I am suppose to be doing.  Ohhh… I’m going to New York in about 2 weeks to see the play Misery on Broadway, maybe I will be discovered?? Damn it, I forgot again that I have no talent.

In other news Marty is preforming pretty close to my home town Nov 21 in Indy but all the good seats are gone. Just my luck huh. He finally comes close and I can only get a seat way up in the balcony looking down on his head. While its the sexiest head of hair I’ve ever seen I will admit I am a bit disappointed in the seats.

Goodbye my limited audience, thanks for reading my nonsense.

Three Fugatives

Three Fugatives

This movie, is one of my favorites. Its a 1989 classic in my opinion, Directed by Francis Veber. With Nick Nolte, Martin Short, Sarah Rowland Doroff, James Earl Jones. I have never seen anything so sexy as when Martin Shorts  ear sticks out so oddly in this movie. Is that weird? Like its not bad enough I’m obsessed with martin Short now I have an ear fetish too?  I may need help. But anyway I’m going to roll with it, because its hot and I don’t care what you think. I really think that Marty now, in the age he is could be a great and very sexy leading man. While he’s hilarious as the bumbling idiot, he has a sexy and sweet side too that I wish could have been portrayed in his career.  Why all the characters, I mean I love them, but I think he never got a chance to shine as the man without the mask on.  Look at Steve Carell in Crazy Stupid Love, that role would have been perfect for Marty.  Anyway, enough about me and my delusions, here goes a little insight on Three fugitives. th25FYETDV ps. look at that ear. Makes me wanna bite it

Lucas (Nolte) has been in prison for armed robbery. On the day he is released, he gets taken hostage by Ned Perry (Short), an incompetent, novice criminal who robs a bank (to get money for treatment for his ill daughter, Meg) at the moment Lucas just happens to be there.

Detective Duggan (Jones) assumes they must be in it together and sets about tracking them down. Several chases, an accidental shooting, treatment from a crazy vet who thinks he’s a dog and other capers follow, all the while Lucas trying to ditch his idiotic companion and prove his own innocence.

Whilst avoiding the law, the two form an unlikely partnership to help cure the silent Meg and make good their escape. They rescue Meg from the care home she’s in (with Perry nearly ruining the whole affair with his clumsiness) and flee , pretending to be a married couple with a son.

All appears to end well. However, in the closing scene, Perry enters a Canadian bank to change some currency only to find himself taken hostage by a different bank robber in the same manner he originally kidnapped Lucas. Because of this unexpected development, Lucas does not need to say goodbye to Meg, with whom he has formed a bond.

Martin Short is my Justin Bieber

I met Marty, twice actually. Once in 2003 when he came to Louisville to do a show. My ex husband had gotten us tickets, because anyone who knows me, knows this is a gift I’d die for. Best gift I had ever and still have ever received actually. We went to the show, and it was just as amazing as I had ever dreamed. He came out and did the stance I love so much where he pushes his suit jacket aside and puts his hands on his hips and just stands there for the world to admire him. And they should, he is quite something to admire.

The show was hilarious, I remember it well even after almost 12 years have passed. I remember him coming out into the crowd and I remember my heart pounding as he walked past me. After the show was over, and my ex and I were walking to our cars I noticed a limo and a handful of people standing beside it. I recall telling him, “that’s his car, that’s got to be his car” And I recall him telling me “and over there is our car, lets go”  I tried to talk him into waiting with me, maybe we could get an autograph or something and he refused saying “If you love him so much wait and get a cab home” He didn’t think I would call his bluff, and to be honest I didn’t think he would call mine. The first time in  my life I had ever ridden in a cab lol. But I did. I waited about 20 minutes outside until the door opened from the Theater and to my amazement there he was right in front of me. Martin Short!! Standing right there in front of me. Oh how I wish camera phones had existed back then. He signed my ticket stub, patted my shaking hand, smiled and moved on to the next fan. Its strange to me that something so huge to me is just another day, and another fan to him. No big deal, but to me, I was literally on cloud nine for weeks.  Needless to say my first cab ride ever was well worth being abandoned in downtown Louisville for. No regrets here.

The second time I met him was this past year, in February of 2015. My daughter, who is now 16 and I took a trip to New York together and guess who just happened to be in “Its only a Play” the same weekend I selected to take her?? coincidence? Lets say yes so I don’t sound too much like a crazed stalker here. But in reality, I knew what I was doing, I knew that aside from some mother / daughter time that we desperately needed that we would be standing outside a stage door awaiting his arrival or departure several times that weekend. I actually wrote him a letter, before we even boarded the plane from Kentucky to New York. I wrote it several times, threw it away, wrote it again and talked myself out of taking it with me only to talk myself back into it. I carried the letter in my pocket from Louisville, to New York determined that if I got the opportunity I would hand deliver it to him. It wasn’t much, just a gushy fan letter telling him how much he means to me, and how much I loved his book and respected how much he cared for his late wife and so obviously adored her in his book. It was simply a letter getting everything I needed to say off my chest and by hand delivering it to him I would at least know that he knew he had changed someone’s life. He had given someone a reason to smile, and he had brightened someone’s day on many occasions. The first day we arrived in NYC we went and checked out the Jacobs Theater, because that is where his play was. I was just in awe. I kept telling my daughter “he’s in there. Martin Short is inside that building right now” And of course she’s looking at me like I’m a crazy person and responds “who cares where Martin short is mom” I explained it to her like this “you know all those crazy teen girls who are so in love by Justin Beiber? How they feel, how they act about him?? That’s what Martin Short is to me” Martin Short is my Justin Bieber!!!!

Once she finally gave in to the idea that some of our NYC time would be spent trying to deliver a note to the man of my dreams things went a little smoother. We talked to a few people and they showed us where to wait and told us what times he had been there in the days prior so we could try and be there around the same time. I feel so much like a stalker telling this story, but its not like I followed the man to his hotel room, or hid behind corners and watched his every move, I simply waited at the theater hoping to see his car pull up. Is that stalking?? There were several people there, and all waiting for someone else. I seemed to be the only Martin Short Fan on the streets (alley way of Jacobs theater) That day.  We waited for about 2 hours the first day, in freezing February New York weather. I felt guilty, and he didn’t arrive when the staff said he would so I told my daughter lets just forget it and enjoy our trip. I took the letter and threw it in a trash can right there on 45th street. We went on to enjoy our trip very much and had a great bonding experience. The day we were scheduled to leave we were actually walking around Times Square and I just kept telling my daughter, I want to try one more time, I just want to go and check and see if he’s arrived yet or not. So she and I, suitcases in tow walked down to 45th and were informed he had not yet arrived and should be coming anytime. I have a picture of my daughter on that day, in that alley way sitting on top her suitcase freezing in the snow waiting with me. She tells me its child abuse evidence 🙂 I tell her its a memory she will never forget. As we were about to give up yet again and make our way to the airport I saw a Black SUV pull up. I saw him in the backseat of the car. I yelled to my daughter ” its him, its him, get your camera” She ignored this request until it was almost too late thinking I was crazy and the video we have actually only shows his feet and the audio of me saying OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.  He got out of the car, and I walked towards him grinning like an idiot. He smiled back and I said “Can I please get a picture with you?” He said “Sure”

The last thing I remember was me telling him how much I loved his book and how I had come from Louisville just to see him. I don’t recall what he said in return. I was star struck. I so much regret the way I acted. I wish I had been calm enough and cool enough to have actually held a conversation with him. I regret throwing the letter away 2 days prior that I had carried from Louisville to New York just to give to him. However as he says in his own book, “Its the stars who were big to you when you were 12 that leave you unsteady on your feet”  I could walk past Brad Pitt, or Justin Beiber for that matter today and not really think twice about it, but Martin Short left me star struck, babbling like an idiot on the streets of New York. I remember watching him walk away, and down the alley towards the stage entrance. This memory is etched in my brain, him walking away from me and me being overcome with instant regret of things I should have said. I remember wishing he’d turn around, or look back but he didn’t. He went his way and my daughter and I went ours.

The aftermath of my “Martin Short High” as my daughter calls it ended up costing me about $500 because I couldn’t say no to anything she asked me for after that. I just handed her my credit card actually and let her spend away. $500 was cheap, now that I think about it,  that could have ended way worse. I have a picture of he and I  that I look terrible in, but he looks amazing. I am smiling like a moron, he has a huge grin on his face as well. I actually mailed the picture to him, requesting he sign it and mail it back. I am still awaiting that picture and its been 7 or so months so I don’t think I will ever receive it. The memory however will last forever. That picture is sitting on my desk at work and I smile daily looking at it and remembering the day I met my Justin Beiber.



Clifford is my favorite movie of Marty’s. I think this is just because it is something I watched as a kid and it brings me back to my child hood. I am 34 now, and can remember watching this, I can remember the people I was with , and I can remember none of them liking it. I loved it. I loved Marty. This movie was released in 1994, although I believe I read somewhere it was actually made in 1990.  My love, a 40 year old man playing a child. Another fun fact for me, and the era in which I grew up is that Ben Savage was in this movie, and I never knew him as anything other than Fred Savages little brother so it just fascinated me that he was in this. I love the sense of humor portrayed in this film and I love the fact that he, as a 40 year old man played a 10 year old boy. My own son, now 13 reminds me of Clifford from time to time although I have tried to get him to watch the film on several occasions I have not been successful. I actually have the ending of this movie, a scene where Marty sings San Francisco as my ringtone. Excellent movie, regardless of what the critics said. Great job to Paul Flaherty the director and Jay Dee Rock and Bobby Von Hayes the writers, and not to leave out the most important part Marty, well played sir I loved it and I don’t care if it was done 25 years ago.





Martin Who??

Martin Who??

Who would want to read a blog about Martin Short? Well, I would…. and when I searched for one I couldn’t find one. So here you go world. A blog dedicated to my hero, the funniest, sexiest man alive.. the one and only Martin Short. I guess I could start this off by telling anyone willing to read my jangled thoughts how much Mr. Short means to me. Since I was a child he has held my attention and turned my head. I think even before I was old enough to know what a crush was I had a crush on Marty.

I, as I write this am 34 years old. 34 years old today actually, Happy Birthday to me. I feel like a very old 34 however, as I have no interest in things others my age enjoy. I know too much about SCTV, and Saturday Night Live to hold a conversation with anyone who is “my age”. I can remember being roughly 7 years old when Innerspace came out.  I saw it in the theaters actually. Me, a 7 year old girl begged her father to see this movie, and he obliged having no idea this 7 year old little oddball would from that moment on fall in love with Martin Short. As I got older I still loved that movie, although everyone thought it was Dennis Quaid I loved.

Google wasn’t around back then, I couldn’t go to YouTube and search and spend hours watching SCTV the way I can now, so I became a fan of his early work later in my own life. Clifford, while it didn’t do well in the real world has always been a favorite of mine and I still to this day can not watch the scene “Look at me like a human boy” without cracking up.

So, blogosphere if anyone reads this….Great. If no one but me reads this, then hey at least I have somewhere to get all this information out of my head to???  And Marty if you by chance ever read this I hope you know that you have changed my life for the better and I thank you.    More to Come………..