60 yr old woman trapped in a 34 yr old body

60 yr old woman trapped in a 34 yr old body

Today was a very nice day here in Kentucky. Weather was perfect, and I was driving around downtown with the windows down and the radio blaring. I got some strange looks every time I approached a red light however. I guess I don’t look the part. I was in fact caught at a red light singing Frank Sinatra “If you let me love you, its for sure I’m gonna love you, ALL THE WAY”

what’s so strange about this? Why does this warrant stares from strangers? Everyone sings in the car. I’m weird about my music. I like music that means something. I like lyrics that I can relate to.  I have a wide variety of music on my playlist actually. If I were to hit shuffle, and just let it run you would bounce around from Frank Sinatra, to Lil’ Wayne and then on to some Jerry Lee Lewis. I like the older stuff, from the 50’s and 60’s. I cant help it. Even country music I don’t like anything recent. Il take some old George Jones over Luke Bryan any day of the week.  I feel odd that I mentioned Lil’ Wayne, let me go on record and reiterate my previous statement…. I like Lyrics. I like things I can relate to and every now and then this 34 year old white girl from Kentucky can relate to something Lil’ Wayne has to say.  For example, when Im having a rough day I can turn him on and

” Ok you want me up in a cage then ill come out in beast mode. Got to world up in a safe, combination is the G-Code, This Wheezy Mother F****er blood ganging Im in bleed mode, all about my dough but I don’t even check the peep hole, so you can keep knocking, but wont knock me down. No love lost, no love found” ….. I can relate.. Im all about my dough too Lil’ Wayne.

But then there are the times, more often then not that I am calm and romantic and longing for love. Real true, ALL THE WAY love that Frank Sinatra sings about. Times like today when this 34 year old woman gets crazy looks for singing to the wrong era of music at stop lights.

Better than Slim Shady

Better than Slim Shady

I wake up every day

For that I give thanks to the great unknown

I have happy, healthy children, a job, and a home

I make enough money so that we can get by

I work, I struggle, and my children see me try

I have my dark moments where I wonder why I am here

But then someone yells “Hey Mom” and that reason becomes suddenly clear

No one reads this blog, and yet I still continue to write on for reasons unknown

I suppose this is an open diary to me, a place my thoughts can call home?

Surely you did not think I could be serious for this entire way through?

(Don’t call me Shirley) the real me is about to come out and play for a few

No matter what I think or what it is that I do, at some point in the day my mind turns to you

IS that crazy? Martin Short???Am I really that disturbed?

Or is he such a sexy, comedic genius that I’ve memorized every word?

I have other interests, he is not my only passion, however he is the basis of all my actions

My inspiration, my motive, my hero I suppose you could say

But do normal people want to rip their hero’s clothes off after he saves the day?

Saving the day, that’s what he does for me, and yet he doesn’t even know

That just thinking of a silly line from a movie, puts me at ease and relaxes me so

When the day has been too hard, and life has knocked me down

Just the thought of him, can turn it all around.

He makes me laugh, and is my emotional mental escape.

But ohhhhh the sight of him, leaves my mouth agape.

Ok, I’m ready to wrap this up now,

Mic Drop,

Curtain Call,

time to take my bow.



There are 3 reasons you may have entered this blog.

  1. Pure Accident
  2. You think I’m Cute
  3. You love Martin Short too ?? Wow we have so much in common, We should get a drink later.
Trophy Wife or Stripper? Naw….

Trophy Wife or Stripper? Naw….

One thing I really admire about Marty is that he went after what he wanted. He knew being a doctor, or a social worker wasn’t what he was destined to become and he worked until he got where he desired to be in life. That’s where he and I are so different. As I sit here at my desk, in my little office so miserable with my job that I’m writing a blog to a very limited audience as opposed to doing any actual work I envy him. I know this is not where I am meant to be. I wake up every morning with no desire to come here. I’m not lazy, I’ve worked since I was 15 years old, I am just unfulfilled in my current work situation. I need to find the drive to do something about it.

I’m too old to be an actor at a whopping 34 years old now, not to mention I have no talent. I’m not funny enough to be a comedian, although I crack myself up I cant pay myself to preform for myself now can I?  Hell, running a Martin Short obsessed fan blog pays nothing so I can scratch that from the list of potential careers… What to do, what to do. I’ve had children so my stomach is not flat enough to be a stripper. I also cant dance. I could seek a rich husband I suppose, one who would allow me to just be a trophy wife?? But I’m not gold, id say I’m a high bronze, possibly low silver type of trophy so what kind of husband would that attract? Just some old creepy one, so Ill pass on that option as well.

So, back to work I go. Doing the same thing over and over, every day of my life until I finally figure out what it is I am suppose to be doing.  Ohhh… I’m going to New York in about 2 weeks to see the play Misery on Broadway, maybe I will be discovered?? Damn it, I forgot again that I have no talent.

In other news Marty is preforming pretty close to my home town Nov 21 in Indy but all the good seats are gone. Just my luck huh. He finally comes close and I can only get a seat way up in the balcony looking down on his head. While its the sexiest head of hair I’ve ever seen I will admit I am a bit disappointed in the seats.

Goodbye my limited audience, thanks for reading my nonsense.

Mya and Marty Oh My.

Mya and Marty Oh My.

Mya and Marty oh my, can this be true? Not that I care so much about Mya Rudolph, I mean she’s funny and all but the world already has Ellen. No one can replace Ellen as the new queen of the talk shows.  But with David Letterman gone, and all we have now are the young Jimmys of late night… we need the class, and the comedy that only an older gentleman such as my Martin Short can provide. Just like Tina Fey said when she did her last appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman and wore that blue dress, “who else am I going to get dressed up for?” Its almost like Fallon, and Kimmel, and I haven’t even watched Stephen Colbert yet are for the younger crowd. I miss SCTV and Saturday Night Live (when it was good) and I feel like Marty and Mya can bring back that kind of comedy to television. The world needs that kind of comedy brought back to television and I for one can not wait and hope that’s its a live type thing so I can be there. After all, Mya and Marty were the best part of the SNL 40th. And with Lorne Michaels producing, its gold in my book, bring it on


Sexiest man alive

Sexiest man alive

what’s Justin Bieber got that Martin Short does not?

You don’t have to be young and tatted up to be hot!!!!

Nothing is as sexy as that of a funny man

But I guess I am bias, I am his self declared #1 fan

Ill take some age, and the rugged good looks

Marty Shorts the sexiest man alive in my book

I’m just at work, and I’m bored as can be,  so I’m rhyming some words until its time to leave. Home I shall drive, as my children await, 3 day weekend coming up and it should be great. Netflix and jammies, got some relaxing to do, maybe have a bonfire, make a memory or two. That’s what life’s about after all, what you leave behind, and family comes first, gotta enjoy this precious time. So I bid a farewell to the handful of readers seeing my thoughts. Rush hour traffic awaits…its Friday so there will be lots. Marty my dear, if this you should ever see, you are on someone’s mind today and that someone is me. What a ridiculous rhyme I just spewed, how corny am I. Ohhh its 5 o’clock, gotta clock out, see ya folks. BYE.