Month: December 2015

Short Poem about a Short Man

I try not to get fixated

I try not think of him throughout the day

I know it’s unhealthy

However my mind constantly drifts his way.

I wonder how he is doing

If happiness is truly at his door

I wonder if that smile is just a mask

If his heart is actually sore

I Know that he does not

Give my name even a second thought

I Know that he does not

Realize he is the object of my besot

However here I sit, with a stranger forever on my mind

Contemplating his happiness, as if he were actually mine.

I don’t care about his wealth or fantasize about his fame

I care for the man inside, and am indifferent to the character acclaim.

While admiration for his art I certainly can not deny
I want to know man, the heart and the mind.

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How is a SuperFan Born?

How is a super fan born? What snaps in an individual’s brain that makes them obsess over a certain celebrity? These days you can get on Twitter or Instagram, or Facebook and come across a fan made webpage for any celebrity you could possibly imagine. But why? Why is any particular individual worth investing that much of your time and attention upon? That celebrity in 99% of the cases does not even know you exist. So why as a self-respecting human being would you swoon and create these fan made webpage shrines?
Do I sound like I am talking down to those of you have done it? Are you getting offended because you are the operator of BeiberFever2015? Don’t take it that way. I’m not putting you down, because I too, am a fan girl. That’s right, I said it. I am a 34 year old fan girl.

I am just trying to uncover what happens, and why our minds fixate on that one person so desperately that we post picture after picture of them on these webpages. What is going on in our heads when we stare at our phones for hours upon hours hoping and praying that they might see our Twitter, or hit like on one of the Instagram pictures we created?
I’m going to look at myself here, because while my obsession doesn’t lie with Justin Bieber, or One Direction, or any other modern day teeny bopping sensation, I still have the same fan girl problems as the rest of you. I think I’ll dig into some Freud and preform the best psychoanalysis upon myself I can to get to the root of what happens in the minds of us “fangirls”.

Brace yourself folks, I am about to reveal the object of my affection. Are you sitting down? Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp could both walk past me right now shirtless and I can’t say that I would even give them a second glance. However, if Martin Short, yeah that’s right, if all 5 feet 7 inches of a 65 year old Martin Short were to walk past me right now my ovaries would leap out of my body and chase him down the street. I can’t help it. I don’t know what it is about him, but to me, this is the sexiest, funniest, most charming perfect man that has ever walked the face of the earth. Martin Hayter Short is the object of my un reciprocated affection. Martin Short is the man I scour the internet looking at pictures of and updating them to Instagram as if anyone but myself would care. But why? Why him? Let’s look a little deeper into the root of a fan girls mind.

As a kid, I had unusually high anxieties and stress that I am still plagued with today actually. I was a tom boy, who from a distance if looking at me, you couldn’t tell if I was even a girl. While, I knew I was a girl and that I liked boys, I just didn’t like the whole long hair and painting my nails and getting prettied up aspect of it all. I would rather wear jeans and high tops and cover my hair up in a ball cap. This led to a lot of teasing and being made fun of through those awkward teen years. I was bullied pretty badly on my school bus, and kids would call me “girl man”. To be completely honest, this is the first time I have ever admitted that to anyone. I hated when they did that. I would often just sink down low in my seat and put headphones in my ears and listen to my Walkman. I think the root of my obsession with Martin Short was born right there on that bus being bullied by those kids. I didn’t have many friends, and I spent a lot of time with my grandmother. My Grandmother is who turned me on to the music of Jerry Lee Lewis. Now keep in mind this was the early 90’s. Jerry Lee had not been cool for a good 35 years when a young me was sunk low in her seat on the school bus rocking out to Great Balls Of Fire.

So, to get back on track here, and get to the root of how these school bullies led me to drift away to Jerry Lee Lewis every day. I became such a huge fan that it was only natural that I buy the movie Great balls of Fire. It was the very first viewing of that movie; Great Balls of Fire that made my heart skip a beat when Dennis Quaid flashed that gorgeous smile of his for the camera. That’s right, I said Dennis Quaid. I know what you’re thinking; you thought I was obsessed with Martin Short, not Dennis Quaid right? Well that’s still true. Marty still holds my heart, but it was Dennis Quaid who led me to Marty. Once I saw that smile of Dennis Quaid’s, and as a 12 year old girl developed my very first crush, I instantly had to have every movie he was ever in. My grandparents, who essentially raised me and spoiled me, obliged to this crush and bought me every Dennis Quaid movie on earth. Have we all seen Innerspace? 1987? Dennis Quaid and Martin Short? If you have not I suggest you purchase it immediately because it has recently been brought to Blu-ray.

So let’s recap. School Bullies led me to melt away to Jerry Lee on the bus, who led me to Dennis Quaid, who in turn led me to Martin Short. I thought my heart skipped a beat the first time I saw Dennis Quaid smile, My heart leapt out of my chest when I saw Martin Short. I was 13 by now, and this movie was old news, having been out for quite some time but it was all I could talk about.

Here I am now 34 years old, that was 21 years ago that I developed this infatuation with a Mr. Martin Short. I’ve seen every movie, every TV Show, every awards show, Broadway play, you name it, I’ve been there done that. So why, after 21 years am I still besotted with this man who has no idea I exist? Will The Beliebers out there and the One Directioners still be in operation in 21 years? A clinical psychologist would describe an obsession as a fixation on an object, person or an activity. Ok, check that box for me in the YES Column. I’ve definitely got that symptom. Now, if this obsession can impair or hider your capacity to love, and work it is diagnosed by a clinical psychologist as “unhealthy” That’s not me. I do have a life after all. I am engaged to be married; I have 4 wonderful and beautiful children and none of which did I name Martin Jr. So upon a further self-diagnosis I deem myself to have a healthy obsession. Do I have a disproportionate and unusual focus on something, sure? Does that something just happen to be a 65 year old gorgeous comedian? Sure. But I’m still going with healthy. The superfan born in me 21 years ago has led a happy healthy and normal life regardless of my self-proclaimed Number One Martin Short Fan Status. What about the rest of you fan girls and superfans out there? Can you track it down to the moment that switch turned on inside of you?